shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i think im in europe. pls send help
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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