To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
