why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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