Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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