They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
