he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
