I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I will pee on everything he values.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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