New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
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Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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