Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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