:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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