Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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