just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize