Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
