we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
