so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Come see our sink grown plant.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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