that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My vagina just clenched in fear
My breath smells like gin and sadness
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
