You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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