but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
