My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
