I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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