...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
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I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Pants are for mortals
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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