Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize