She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize