If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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