Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
