My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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