It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
