I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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