Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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