I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
