next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I understand Curling. That high.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
