remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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