Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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