We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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