Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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