he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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