I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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