its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When did angry sex become our thing?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
