i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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