Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
