i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
