i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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