I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
