i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
