i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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