I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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