I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
