Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
