yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
