All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
