we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
