So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
