I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
