dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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