In America we eat man semen.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
