We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
