you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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