So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize