so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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