We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
