it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
