Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
