Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
