I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
