I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
