Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
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