You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
