Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
