I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
