i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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