We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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